Divorce Mediation: What to Expect

Mediation is regularly used during the divorce process to help assist separating couples in reaching an agreement about their finances, children and other marital assets, such as pets. 

In this guide, we’ll discuss how mediation works, what you should expect and how to prepare to ensure all parties receive a satisfactory outcome. 

What is divorce mediation?

Divorce mediation is a method used during a divorce or dissolution to settle the differences between you and your ex-partner. It involves the help of a third-party, known as a mediator, who cannot take sides and will remain impartial. 

Mediation can be used to reach an agreement about important issues such as 

your children’s welfare, how your assets are divided, property and money. 

How do you prepare for divorce mediation?

It is common for many people to feel anxious about using mediation during their divorce, however, there are a few ways you can prepare for it to help reduce any worries:

  • Establish your priorities and preferences – Before meeting with the mediator, you should make a list of your main priorities, what you want and what you need from the divorce settlement. Having a clear sense of these wants and needs and where you are willing to compromise will enable constructive discussions to take place.
  • Gather and organise documents – In order for everyone involved in the mediation to stay informed, it is important to have a good understanding of your financial situation. Gather and organise any relevant documentation such as bank statements, tax returns, property deeds or investments and business accounts.
  • Consider your ex-partners perspective – While it is natural to consider your feelings and needs during a divorce, it is important to consider the other party’s perspective too. This can help you to build a more collective dialogue during the mediation and achieve both your wants in an amicable way.
  • Prepare for potential roadblocks – While mediation is a tool used to settle disputes in divorce, it is important to be prepared for some potential roadblocks. For example, if you fail to reach an agreement in mediation, you should be prepared and aware that your next steps may be going to court. Alternatively, you may need to adjust your expectations in order to reach better long-term outcomes. 

    You should seek advice from an experienced family lawyer about the outcome of mediation to decide on the best next steps for you. 

How many sessions are needed for divorce mediation?

Although there is no definitive number of sessions needed for mediation, most couples will need 2 – 5 sessions to reach an amicable outcome. 
Since it takes around 6 months to get a divorce, even with the new no fault divorce process, it gives plenty of time for a wide range of issues to be discussed and an agreement reached.

What is discussed during divorce mediation?

During mediation sessions, you can discuss anything that you think is important and needs to be addressed. Yourself and your ex partner will set the agenda for mediation. However, there are a few key issues that must be organised before the smaller problems are dealt with. 

The key areas which will be discussed during mediation are:

  • Your children – Who your children will live with and the division of time between yourself and your ex-partner.
  • Your marital home – Who will live in the marital home or whether it is going to be sold and how the net proceeds of sale will be divided between the two of you. 
  • Other properties and business assets What are the values of these and how are they going to be shared, or can they be ring-fenced?
  • Savings and investments – How will they be split and if the accounts are going to be closed or kept under the name of one individual.
  • Pensions – Is one party entitled to some of the pension of the other party? How will this be divided and what percentage will each party receive?
  • Other assets – Other assets can include cars, larger investments and inheritance.

It is important to be open and honest about your assets and how you want them to be divided. Any attempt to hide assets may render an agreement void and the process may need to be repeated or sent to court for the court to determine the settlement.

What happens if you can’t reach an agreement through mediation?

If you can’t reach an agreement during mediation, you will need to speak to a specialist family law solicitor who will advise you on what to do next. Our team at VM Family Law are extremely experienced with helping divorcing couples reach an agreement once mediation has broken down. 

If you would rather not go to court, then it may still be possible to negotiate a settlement via solicitors or by having a round table meeting with your ex and solicitors. 

What happens if you reach an agreement through mediation?

If you reach an agreement during mediation, you should still speak to a specialist family law solicitor as a solicitor will be able to advise you on how to ensure the agreement reached is legally binding.  

This could be done in a variety of different ways, such as entering into a court order, a separation agreement or a parenting agreement. Our team at VM Family Law are extremely experienced with helping divorcing couples protect themselves as anything discussed in mediation is confidential and cannot be repeated in court if a disagreement later occurs. 

It is therefore always advisable to get any agreement properly documented as this can save time and costs later.

The benefits of divorce mediation

There are a number of benefits to choosing mediation first in a divorce process. Some of the main benefits are:

  • Cost effective – Mediation is a cheaper way to settle disputes compared to the costs of going to court.
  • It puts your children first – One of the biggest benefits of mediation is that it will always put your children’s best interests at the forefront
  • Less stressful – Mediation tends to be a less stressful and less intense process than going to court.
  • Speed – It can be a much faster way to resolve issues than court proceedings.
  • Fully confidential – The sessions are fully confidential and there is no risk of the mediator sharing sensitive information.
  • Flexible – Mediation can work to your terms and sessions can be weekly, monthly, fortnightly or whatever works best for you.
  • Focused on improving long term communication – The whole aim of mediation is to create an amicable and appropriate outcome for everyone involved. During this process, mediation can help to rebuild communication with your partner which is especially important if there are children involved.
  • Informative – Mediation provides you with all the information you need about what is legally taken into consideration and what isn’t to enable you and your ex to have productive discussions.. 

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